Make Your Own Kind of Music

by Cass Elliot, written by Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil

Thanks, they say as you back away to the shadows.

The coffee sits on their desk, barely given a glance. Not knowing what to do with your hands, you fiddle with your fingernails, feeling naked and uncomfortable. 

Just stop! your inner monologue protests. You let your arms hang and try to stand a bit taller. If you communicate confidence, you won’t be overlooked. You go about your day oscillating between feeling out of place and faking it. How do people interact here? How can I fit in while also standing out? You don’t want to bother the busy people, but you want to be noticed. 

Can I make it here while still being who I am?

Some days, you spend hours laying out your outfit for the next day, waking up early to do makeup and make yourself beautiful. Some days, waking up is all your can muster. People treat you nicer when you put in effort, but you don’t think it’s the right kind of attention. 

You see the women at the top. They are demanding, they are loud. They are unlikable. What were they like when they started? How did they get people to see them as a boss? You can’t see yourself becoming that. You are too accommodating. 

It seems like no matter what you do, everyone is too caught up in their own world to notice. It’s freeing, because you can get away with doing your own thing. It’s terrifying, because you feel expendable. You wait for the day when you’ll shake with fear being called into an office. Until then, you’ll live out your day inside your head, never feeling enough. 

Feeling like I missed the boat with this song’s popularity, but of course, it’s evergreen. Before being a Tik Tok trend in 2023, it prominently featured in Lost. All acclaim is totally deserved. But Cass Elliot was never satisfied with her musical output, as she felt limited by what her voice could convey. It’s a great irony that this song is the lasting message she gave the world. The outlook she had is much more easy to feel, that you aren’t capable of living to your fullest potential, or that you aren’t the kind of person you wan to be. I always wonder about artists who have inspirations that are so different than the kind of art they make.

I wish she could see that this kind of pop is deep and meaningful, especially with 55 years of distance. While the message of the song is difficult to believe, it makes it worth it.